PathAfter FAQ
Grief and support
Focused answers for people handling the first days, paperwork, and follow-up steps after a death in California.
Start checklistCore after-death questions
Is it normal to feel nothing right after someone dies?Yes. Shock and numbness are common immediate responses, even when the death was expected. Grief does not follow a schedule. Not crying does not mean you do not care.How do I help children through a death?Use honest, age-appropriate language. Let them ask questions. Keep routines as normal as possible. Include them in age-appropriate ways if they want to be involved in the service. Watch for behavioral changes — those are often how children express grief.How do I support someone who is grieving?Show up with specific offers ("I will bring dinner Tuesday") rather than vague ones ("Let me know if you need anything"). Do not say "they are in a better place" or "everything happens for a reason." Say their name. Ask about them…When does grief become a mental health problem?Complicated grief (or prolonged grief disorder) is when intense grief significantly disrupts functioning for more than 12 months. If someone cannot return to basic daily activities, is having suicidal thoughts, or is using substances to cope, professional help is needed.What is anticipatory grief?Grief that begins before the death — when someone is terminally ill. It is real and valid. It does not mean you will grieve less after the death. Hospice programs often include counseling for families during this period.Should I take time off work after a bereavement?Yes, if you can. Most employers offer bereavement leave — ask HR what applies. There is no legal minimum bereavement leave requirement in California for private employers (as of 2024 AB 1949, employers with 5+ employees must provide up to 5 days)…Is it normal to feel angry after someone dies?Yes. Anger is one of the most common grief responses — at the person who died, at circumstances, at yourself, at others. It does not mean something is wrong with you.How do I handle holidays after a loss?Give yourself permission to change traditions. Plan ahead rather than avoiding it. Name the person at gatherings. It is okay for holidays to look different now.Are there free grief resources in California?Yes. Many hospice organizations offer free grief support groups to the community, not just families they served. The American Cancer Society, local hospitals, religious organizations, and county mental health departments often run free bereavement programs.When do I need a grief counselor vs. a therapist?A grief counselor specializes in bereavement and is appropriate for most people after a significant loss. A therapist (especially one trained in trauma) is more appropriate if the death was sudden, violent, or involves complicated circumstances, or if the grief is significantly…