PathAfter FAQ
Emotional and Practical Survival
Focused answers for people handling the first days, paperwork, and follow-up steps after a death in California.
Start checklistSurviving spouse, financial predators, and digital estate
How do I handle being the person everyone leans on when I'm also grieving?You cannot pour from an empty cup. Assign specific tasks to specific people so you are not making every decision. Designate one person as the point of contact for incoming calls and questions. Protect one hour per day that is yours. Grief…What if I don't know where anything is?Start with email — search "insurance," "policy," "account," "statement," "login." Check their phone for apps. Look for a filing cabinet, safe, or safe deposit box. Check with their accountant or attorney — they may have copies of key documents. Many people find…What if they handled all the finances and I don't understand any of it?Start with the most immediate need: access to cash for daily expenses. Then build understanding account by account. A fee-only financial advisor or a nonprofit credit counseling agency can help you understand the full picture without pressure to make decisions. Take notes…What about their online accounts and passwords?Check for a password manager app on their phone or computer — LastPass, 1Password, Bitwarden, and similar apps store all logins in one place. Check for a written list of passwords in a filing cabinet, wallet, or home safe. If you cannot…What if I'm worried about running out of money?Make a simple list: what money comes in each month (Social Security, pension, any work), what goes out (mortgage, utilities, groceries, insurance). If expenses exceed income, identify which expenses can be reduced or eliminated. Do not make large financial decisions — investments…What is grief brain and is it real?Yes. Cognitive impairment from grief is well-documented — difficulty concentrating, memory lapses, poor decision-making, confusion. It is called grief brain or widow's fog. It is temporary. For this reason, most grief counselors recommend avoiding major financial and legal decisions for at least…What if I feel relief that they are gone?Relief is one of the most common and least talked about grief responses — especially after a long illness, difficult caregiving, or a troubled relationship. Relief does not mean you did not love them. It does not mean you are a bad…When do I need a grief counselor specifically for spousal loss?Consider it if: you are struggling to handle basic daily tasks after 3–4 weeks, you are having thoughts of self-harm, you are using substances to cope, you cannot sleep or eat consistently, or you feel completely alone. Many therapists specialize in spousal…What do I do with their clothes and belongings?On your timeline. Some people need to clear the space quickly to move forward. Others find comfort in the presence of familiar things for a long time. Neither is wrong. If you feel pressure from family or friends to clear things out…What is the most important thing to know as a surviving spouse?You have more time than you think for most decisions — and less than you think for a few specific ones (COBRA enrollment, Social Security application, the two-year window on home sale capital gains exclusion). Know which deadlines are real. Give yourself…